


Do You Still Believe in One Another

by AidaHwedo



Series: Hey, Brother [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Neglect, Lawful Good Doesn't Mean Lawful Stupid, Not Betaed we die as men, Spoilers for ETGW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:07:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23698222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AidaHwedo/pseuds/AidaHwedo
Summary: Verin Thelyss hates dealing with his immediate family, but perhaps this time it will be worth it.
Series: Hey, Brother [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716418
Comments: 27
Kudos: 193





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So for anyone who is following my other story Through Seas of Stars, I am still working on it but due to recent events I am unable to write in my usual method which is to sit in a coffee shop and write for hours on end. I also happen to find it far too distracting to write in my own home so while I am working on it, it is still very slow going. This fic is also partially in response to my absolute frustration with episode 99, mainly that argument. So I had to take a break from writing the main Mighty Nein party because my feelings towards Veth are not charitable right now and it shows. So enjoy this mess of Lawful Good younger sibling introspection on Neutral Evil elder sibling. Not sure how good it is since as stated above I find it difficult to write from home.

He should have expected the demand delicately phrased as a request to return home from his mother as soon as word of the official peace between the Dynasty and the Empire reached the Dens; after all his main excuse for not leaving Bazzoxan even when he had leave just resolved. Still it had come as an unwelcome surprise and not one that he could ignore, the way he had been able to the last three missives she had sent. No matter how many decades he spent away from these smoke grey marble halls veined with gold they never failed to make him feel inadequate. Nearly a century of being pitted against his prodigious elder brother, never mind that they were only 20 years apart, and falling short in addition to the cold disappointment at his so called lack of ambition couldn’t be erased in a mere decade of distance. Moving through the halls towards the grand dining room where his mother, the Umavi of their den, and his brother presumably were already waiting. No doubt Verin was going to be chastised for not being prompt, never mind that he wasn’t a master of the arcane arts to be able to teleport at will to any given place and he must rely on the good will of one the war mages attached to the Aurora Watch unit stationed in Bazzoxan in order to use the teleportation circles. While he could have taken the offer of having one of their family’s wizards teleport him from his residence to here, he would rather his family not know where he lived (though he was sure that Essek had already scryed upon him and had everything down to the floor plans) so as to avoid unexpected house calls. His footsteps clicked quietly against the polished slate floors and he could see his mother’s current favored household staff waiting attentively beside the dining room doors for his arrival. He didn’t recognize her but then again other than other than the kitchen staff household servants never stayed long due to his mother’s exacting standards. 

“The Umavi and your brother are waiting for you,” the girl said tonelessly as much warning as it was statement. He didn’t bother responding or asking for her name no doubt she would have moved on to less demanding employment by the next time he was coerced into returning for visit. Giving her only the briefest of nods he pushed open the door, revealing the two individuals seated at massive table in the center of the cavernous room illuminated by the bluish-purple flickering of Faerie Fire dancing in the sconces and chandelier (more for atmosphere than any necessary illumination). Though sitting was something of a misnomer when it came to his brother despite the heavy ironwood table blocking most of the view Verin could see that the hem of that ridiculous mantle his brother wore was barely brushing the floor meaning his gravity defying floating spell was still in effect even while seated. So nothing had changed there obviously, not that he had expected it to. Two sets of impassive pale gold eyes trained themselves on him at the sound of the door opening, even from here the uncanny resemblance Essek had to their mother was unmistakable. It was a small vindictive triumph that, though he was the younger sibling, he was still a head taller than him and quite a bit broader in the shoulders. In fact he was ninety percent sure that was the entire reason Essek had created the floating spell for himself; certainly he hadn’t started researching it until after it became clear that Verin was going to take after their father and come out the taller one.

“You’re late. I expect you have a good reason for why you are tardy?” His mother’s voice was cold and devoid of any tone other than mild irritation. _This is going to be a long visit,_ he told himself breathing a steadying exhale out through his nose. Thankfully he had prepared an excuse that while it wouldn’t please her would mollify her ire to some extent, and it wasn’t even a lie, which compared to the two in front of him was a triumph.

“As a matter of fact I do, I had to finish up the re-deployment orders for those Aurora Watch members wishing to take up positions closer to their homes than Bazzoxan, it wouldn’t do to have the Taskhand take leave to come home and neglect the soldiers under his command. Especially with the current news.” He was proud that he managed to keep his tone even and not let any of his discomfort at being back here in this manor with the two of them show. Though from the slight quirk of an eyebrow Essek probably heard it anyway. Watching his mother’s lips thin into a disapproving line at his response, he felt slightly smug at the fact that she didn’t say anything after all it wasn’t often that he managed to get one over on either of them. Finally she exhaled and spoke, “Well we’ve delayed this dinner long enough waiting on your arrival, however _warranted_ your tardiness may have been, sit down.”

Taking the seat across from Essek as indicated, he waited to be informed of just why his mother had called both of them here instead of a more general meeting of the entire den. Briefly meeting Essek’s gaze, he briefly hoped that he would see something in that expression other than carefully crafted indifference even while knowing that he wouldn’t after all Essek was entirely their mother’s son and just as cold as she was. It was one of the reasons why as soon as he was able he had taken the farthest posting he could think of in the Dynasty away from here. Though that certainly didn’t stop either of them from maneuvering things to get him the position of Taskhand, Verin just hoped that he had proved that he had deserved that placement to the Bright Queen and Dusk Captain. A plate was set in front of him startling him out of his thoughts, the barely there contemptuous exhale of air and slight derisive quirk of his lips was not appreciated commentary from his brother, it never failed to irritate him just how much Essek could say without truly speaking at all. Glancing down at the dish in front of him revealed it to be roast spider bisque with a dark mushroom bread as a side, one of Essek’s favorites. _So that’s the kind of meeting this is going to be, praise my brother and subtly try to shame and prod me into more ambition. Typical._ It had taken two decades of distance before he had been able to see the way that his mother had pitted himself and Essek against each other. Showering praise on the one and snide comments and corrections on the other and vice versa when one did something she approved of. At the time it had worked, now it just filled him with exhaustion and regret. There were times that he wondered just how different things would have been if he and Essek were closer, if they hadn’t bought into their mother’s machinations and maneuverings. 

“So I trust that now there is peace, outwardly at least, that you won’t dropping everything to kowtow to that ridiculous band of mercenaries that you were given stewardship of.” If he hadn’t watching closely he would have missed the way that Essek’s fingers flexed just slightly on his non-dominant hand, hidden from their mother’s view by the shallow dish of bisque, before he answered their mother’s statement.

“I suppose we shall see, the Bright Queen would like to keep them close especially now since the peace is so new and they were so instrumental in bringing it about. The last thing she wants is for them to take up residence back in the empire, as long as they make their home base here it’s a mark in our favor.” Though the words were delivered in his brother’s typical emotionless tone, there was something about the words that made Verin think that there was something else to them. A quick sideways glance towards their mother revealed that she either didn’t catch it or was choosing to ignore it until a later time when she could use it against him as berating Essek would be counterproductive to the goal of this dinner. Interesting either things had changed more than he expected or something was up with his brother. 

“I see, why haven’t they returned to the Dynasty yet? I am given to understand that they’ve a wizard in their midst who is capable of teleporting.” There was a pointed sort insinuation in their mother’s voice almost as if she were trying to get some sort of reaction out of his brother. Perhaps he had misconstrued the purpose of this dinner? If he hadn’t been observing so closely he wouldn’t have noticed minute shift of the velvet mantle as his brother’s shoulders tightened a fraction. Odd both times Essek suppressed reactions in response to questions about these charges of his. It might have just been his training and position of Taskhand; but, that _meant_ something Verin just didn’t have the context to put it together into a larger picture. Essek rested his spoon on the edge of the shallow dish before answering.

“They are attending a religious…festival or event in relation to one of their cleric’s deities. I believe they said they were heading to Rumblecusp for it, a dormant volcanic island in the Lucidian Ocean southwest of Nicodranus. Their intentions are to return once this ‘TravelerCon’ event is completed.” Again the same emotionless tone and unblinking reply but still something about it rang off to him. He almost wished that he had more time here if only to try and unravel this oddity, before reminding himself that doing so would only force him to interact with both his mother and Essek more than he truly wanted to. By this time, the bisque was being cleared away by staff and the next course was being placed in front of them; another one of Essek’s favored dishes, Auroch steak with spiced roasted root vegetables.

“Oh so they actually saw fit to inform you of their prospective whereabouts this time, instead of disappearing without word for near two months and then reappearing in the capital of the Dwendalian Empire without warning. I trust I don’t need to remind you just how badly that reflected on our Den given your position and sponsorship for their presence here. Do you even know where they were during that period?” This was looking more and more like an interrogation for his brother and a sort of backhanded warning for himself. There were so many mixed messages going on here. The private dinner with the three of them when it would have been more appropriate to have their older siblings present as well if this was truly a family dinner with just the immediate members of the Den. The serving of Essek’s favored meals, a classic sign that their mother was trying to show that Verin had displeased her or fell short of her expectations in some way. Now the constant line of questioning designed to interrogate his brother and provoke some sort of reaction. Then there was the fact that their mother had not addressed him even once since that initial question as to the matter of his tardiness. Everything about this particular dinner was putting him off balance and a stark reminder of why he hated coming back here. He watched as Essek took a drink of wine seemingly stalling before answering, _that_ action their mother noticed if the way her eyes narrowed and her lips thinned was any indication.

“It seemed that they managed to get themselves trapped in a pre-calamity artifact that led to an extradimensional pocket that had some sort of time dilation effect to it. At least that is the explanation that I was given and I am inclined to believe it. It would in the very least explain why all attempts to scry upon them failed and why all attempts to message them also failed. Barring any unforeseen complications, which given the sorts or situations that they have found themselves in since I took stewardship of them is incredibly likely, they should still be in contact likely at the most inopportune time.” Suppressing a chuckle at Essek’s expense, it certainly sounded like these mercenaries were quite the characters and possibly the kind of people that Verin himself might enjoy speaking to; which, of course meant that they must be giving his brother fits. Honestly Essek deserved it, his brother treated the world like it was a strategy game and he was already five hundred steps ahead of everyone else; to be saddled with a group of people, who from all accounts cheerfully and with absolutely no regard for political position or advantage charged headfirst through life from one event to the next, must be driving him mad. They were the sort of people whom it was impossible to predict what their next move would be because they simply didn’t know what they were going to do until the moment they did it.

For a time his mother seemed content with Essek’s answer and silence reigned only broken by the scrape of utensils against their plates. Glancing surreptitiously towards his brother Verin could see that he was more pushing the food around his plate only occasionally raising a fork to his mouth when he caught either their mother or himself watching. Now that he thought about it Essek had barely touched the bisque as well. It was yet another sign that something was off and unfortunately they weren’t close enough for him to ask and expect a real answer. It wasn’t until the dishes were being cleared away to make way for the desert course that his mother finally addressed him for the first time since his initial arrival. 

“Verin with the Taskhand position here in Rosohna vacant I expect you to come home and take it up. I’ve already put the idea towards the Bright Queen and the Dusk Captain and I’m anticipating it going in our Den’s favor.” _So this is the hand she was playing all along, try to keep both of us off balance so that I blindly agree to the decisions she’s already made for me. All the while pick at Essek so that he’s more relieved that she’s finally turned her attention to me that he’s disinclined to come to my defense or support. Luxon, I hate this place, and worst of all neither of them can see that their view of people as nothing more than game pieces to shuffle across the board as they please is the reason I avoid them at all costs._ Opening his mouth to respond in refusal, preparing for an ugly argument that would surely erupt at his refusal to be a complicit pawn for her to move to her benefit, he was beaten to the punch as Essek spoke. 

“Ah yes, I saw that proposal and took the liberty of diverting it to my office. At this point in time it would not be beneficial to our Den to make suggestions like that, the Bright Queen is being very cautious in response to Taskhand Adeen’s treason. Any attempts to profit off of it will be looked at in askance at best and suspicion at worst. Also given that Verin has only held the position of Bazzoxan’s Taskhand for a decade, granted he’s done a fine if uninspired job of it, the suggestion that he move to take up the title here in Rosohna is a little brash. It makes us look like we’re making a power bid, which is honestly not wrong; but, it’s something that both the Bright Queen and Dusk Captain Quana are looking out for. Maybe in another half century the move could be made without placing our Den in a precarious position of undue suspicion.” Verin almost couldn’t believe his ears that sounded as if his brother was actually attempting to help him, albeit in a backhanded way. Carefully schooling his expression of surprise into one bland impassiveness he watched their mother’s eyes narrow in irritation and the set of her mouth thin into a hard line as she glanced between himself and Essek. Something was definitely up, the brother he was familiar with would never have come to his defense like that unless he was working another angle. Though if what he had said was the truth then this proposal of their mother’s would put the Den in a precarious position and if there was one thing he could count on his brother doing was putting the standing and well being of the Den above all else. It was no wonder that despite being a new soul and one of the youngest members of the Den it was Essek that their mother was grooming to be Denfather after her death and the interim until her inevitable return to take up the reigns once more. 

“Well I suppose you would know better the situation of those circumstances and I commend you on your quick thinking to keep our Den out of a precarious situation that we do not need to court at this moment. I take it similar suggestions have been put forth from other Dens that you have allowed to go through.” The faint bitter twist to her lips belies the trace of approval in her words she never did take being thwarted well and Verin just hoped that he could get back to Bazzoxan in relative haste after this dinner ended. Perhaps he could request a teleport from the circle in the Lucid Bastion to the one in Bazzoxan from Essek, he doubted it but with all the oddities that he had noticed it was worth a shot. Looking up he caught the razor thin triumphant smile that his brother gave their mother in response to her question, _then again maybe I’m imagining these differences after all and nothing has changed._ At this point the only thing he could do is count down the minutes until he could make his way to the teleportation circle. Apparently thwarting whatever plans she had for them both was enough to make her tired of this farce of familial closeness and she finally dismissed the both of them. However, as both his brother and he rose to leave she had one more parting shot, “Essek, I expect you to put your brother up for the night, I would like to see you both again in the morning and there is no reason to waste the talents of one of our mages to send Verin back to Bazzoxan and then bring him back again in the morning. This shouldn’t be an issue right?” 

Verin couldn’t see Essek’s hands hidden as they were by the voluminous mantle but he most definitely saw the way his jaw clenched at the high handed command. _This is going to be a long night_ , knowing how his brother preferred his solitude, to the point he had moved out of the Lucid Bastion into that tower of his as soon as he had been named Shadowhand, he was anticipating that he would relegated to spending his nightly trance in some hard out of the way corner possibly a discarded chair somewhere because Verin certainly doubted that Essek had any guest amenities. It was a good thing that he was a soldier and had rested in some truly uncomfortable places during his career because otherwise he would have to face the two of them in the morning riding the exhaustion of today. 

“Very well Umavi, if that is what you wish,” the words were tight and clipped as if his brother had to force them from behind his teeth. It took a force of will not to glance back over his shoulder towards where their mother was still seated, knowing the kind of expression that would be on her face. She was almost certainly punishing both of them for outmaneuvering her. He and Essek were almost to the door leading to the hallway when she spoke again, “Oh and Essek, do remind your wards that they are nominally representing our Den and that proper decorum even within the confines of one’s home is expected. I have fielded too many complaints from Lord Biylan regarding their outrageous behavior, I expect that you will reign them in as is appropriate.” This time he could see his brother’s expression darken and twist with irritation or rage before smoothing out into its customary slightly smug but otherwise impassive mask, before his brother turned slightly to respond. 

“Of course Umavi, I will be sure to remind them when they return.” With that Essek turned back towards the door and allowed his personal gravitational field push the door open for him, it was the only thing that had been said tonight that Verin was sure was a complete lie. This was why he preferred being a soldier, he absolutely despised politics and the game of pretty fencing with words instead of blades. He would much rather a fight with a known if not honest enemy than to stand in a room with a group of people that would smile at you and make nice while the entire time they’re plotting how best to topple you from your position. It was one thing that he would happily let Essek take the lead on after his brother seemed to thrive on that sort of environment if the way he had risen through the political hierarchy so quickly. They exited the Manor that the Den kept for meetings and events that were best held away from the Lucid Bastion's halls (official den business, celebrations, and the like) into the streets of The Firmaments heading towards the tri-spired tower that was his brother’s estate. Neither of them spoke as they traveled, Essek easily keeping with his longer stride. Realizing this would honestly be the first time he ever set foot inside his brother’s home, he couldn’t help but feel somewhat curious. They arrived at the ornate wrought iron gate which promptly unlocked itself and opened with a small gesture from Essek. It was impressive Verin could admit, much more elaborate than his own home which was a small manse towards the heart of Bazzaxon, the spires stood sharp against the midnight sky connected only by three walkways meeting under a complicated moving metal sculpture that vaguely resembled a weather vane only in as much as it seemed to be tracking something. Everything was a show of perfection and power except another small detail that seemed out of place, adding to the multitude of small inconsistencies he had noticed throughout the night, the ground surrounding the tower looked as if someone had dug several large holes and just left them there. 

“Ah, yes I needed fifty pounds of clay for a new spell and well why purchase it when I already have an abundance here. I just haven’t had the time fix it yet.” There was an odd tone to the words, that if Verin didn’t know any better he would say it was fondness. Though given that it had apparently happened in relation to a new spell that could probably account for the fondness. As Essek let the two of them into the first tower and the first thing that stuck him was the barrenness and barely lived in feel of this space, it was clear this was meant to be some sort of entertaining and receiving area. However a closer look revealed subtle signs of recent activity a cluster of mismatched furniture that appeared to have been grabbed various other places within the tower; as well as what appeared to be a dick doodled in ink on one corner of the table the furniture was clustered around. Not something he expected from his reclusive and always appearance conscious elder brother. The fact that this seeming display of the fact that he had had company at least in the recent past hadn’t been erased either meant that his brother had been kept far busier than normal in recent events or that there was another reason why he was keeping it in such disarray.

“The guest room is upstairs, please be aware that I have restricted the access to the other two towers.” Essek’s voice shook him out of his observation of the room. That was unexpected that his brother actually had a guest room as if he was anticipating someone to spend a night. It was the sort of thing that he couldn’t resist commenting on because it was so out of character. 

“You have a guest room? Did you finally find someone who could tolerate your deplorable personality long enough to spend the night?” Oh he knew it was a nasty thing to say and as soon as the words came out of his mouth he regretted them but a little over a century of conditioning wasn’t something that was easy to overcome. _And here I was lamenting that we both were pitted against each other now I’m deliberately antagonizing him._ Glancing over he swore for a split second it looked like his brother had been gut punched a stricken expression on his face, but he must have been mistaken because a familiar look of irritation was firmly in place by the time he met Essek’s eyes.

“It’s always good to be prepared. Good night Verin.” Cold, clipped, and most definitely irritated his brother’s response was about what he expected after a barb like the one he had just thrown out. Still he had to suppress a wince at how glacial that tone was as Essek proceed to drift up the stairs giving him no option but to follow. They arrived at a room that looked like it might have once been a reading room of some sort which had been recently converted into a guest bed room. A Vermaloc Purplewood bed with matching bed side table stood centerstage, though curiously enough there was a single candle placed in a candle holder on said table perfectly pristine in the manner of the never lit, and a bookcase sparsely populated with books rested against the far wall. Most were various books on magical theory though he could make out a couple of volumes on the history of Xhorhas and single volume, tucked between two books on the principles of Dunamancy on the lowest shelf as if it was trying to hide, of Xhorhassian folk and fairy tales. A prickle of unease ran down his back, this didn’t look like it was a “just in case” guest room cold and impersonal; this room looked like his brother had it put together with someone specific in mind. Now that he was looking there were small touches of warmth that seemed completely at odds with the image of his brother that he had in head. The duvet and sheets were a deep cobalt blue quite unlike the blacks, charcoals, and purples that his brother had preferred since he was old enough to be allowed to dress himself. There were touches of a burnt orange and copper scattered throughout the room in chair bolsters and area rugs. It seemed that he had screwed up when he made that jibe, and he should probably apologize. Turning to say as much to Essek, Verin caught just the fluttering hem of his brother’s mantle whisking out of sight through a door that presumably led to the walkways between the spires. _So much for that_ , he thought as the door shut with a kind of finality.

He walked over to the bed, sat down and started the process of removing his boots, while it wasn’t necessary to have a bed in order to trance it certainly was the most comfortable way. It seemed there was nothing he could do now other than attempt to get some rest and mentally prepare for whatever mind games their mother had planned for tomorrow morning. Swinging his legs up onto the mattress and pulling the quilted duvet out from under himself as he did so, he prepared to trance. No doubt Essek would judge him for trancing in the same clothing he was wearing the previous day, but he hadn’t anticipated this dinner meeting lasting longer than a few hours or he would have provided for his own accommodations. It was about that time that he realized that not only would his brother judge him but their mother would to when he showed up wearing the same clothing and armor that he had arrived in tonight. Yet another black mark against him in her book, as far as he could tell in her eyes he could do nothing right and Essek’s only failing was that he was a new soul. Exhaustion settled over Verin this push pull nature of his relationship with his family, not even the wider den as a whole just his mother and elder brother, wore him out. So much so that he thought he wouldn’t have any issues dropping off into trance as he closed his eyes.

However the moment his eyes closed all he could see were the multitude of little inconsistencies in Essek’s behavior, if he were one of his soldiers that he knew well he would suspect duplicity and wrong doing of some sort. Possibly even treason, but this was Essek, and truthfully he knew little to nothing about his brother’s life they both preferred it that way. Oh he knew that his brother’s position as Shadowhand meant that there were a great many things he did in the name of his position that Verin found morally repugnant and that in order to keep the peace between them they were better off never mentioning any of it. There was always the incredibly unlikely reason and that somehow, some way, his brother had finally learned to care about someone else other than himself and his own ambitions. Again that was an uncharitable thought and one that he really should be attempting to change if he had any hopes at all of undoing the damage their childhood had wrought between them. Huffing out a sigh Verin opened his eyes and just stared at the vaulted ceiling, no matter how hard he tried he was just unable to get those small tells and possibility of what they might mean out of his head. It took a force of effort to drag himself upright, his body craved the rest that trancing would bring but his mind refused to shut off and for a moment he wondered if this was what it was like to be in Essek’s brain for a moment mind always racing from one conclusion to the next without stopping or rest until finally just shutting down from exhaustion. Scrubbing a hand over his face and up brushing his hair out of his face he made up his mind, there wasn’t any way he was going to get any peace tonight until he at least attempted to apologize for being an ass earlier. He had two options: one try the door leading to the walkways between the towers and hope that it wasn’t locked and that Essek would at least hear him out before forcibly removing him from the towers, or two, see if this spire had a kitchen and servants and see if he could send something hot up for his brother with an apology note. Option two would probably be the safer of the bets but Verin had never particularly cared for what was safe. It took only a few moments for him to tug on and do up the cleverly hidden clasps along the back of his calves securing the wet molded and formed leather characteristic of the Aurora Watch in place. Once his boots were securely on his feet he walked over to the door he had seen Essek disappear through earlier and gently gave the handle a turn waiting for something to happen or it to stick firm signifying it was locked from the outside. When the door handle didn’t electrocute him and it pushed open just a fraction of an inch he assumed that his brother had decided that it was better to lock the other towers than to attempt to lock him in this one. 

Easing the door the rest of the way open as silently as possible, which wasn’t hard as the door’s hinges had apparently been silenced at least that’s what he assumed the runes engraved on the metal were for, Verin stepped out onto the walk way only to see Essek leaning against the rail, feet solidly on the ground for the first time, in his memory, since his brother created the spell, looking out at the Gallimaufry with the most open expression on his face that he had seen since his brother’s consecution ceremony. It was a look that he didn’t quite know how to categorize, so at odds as it was with his normal frame of emotional reference for what he knew of his brother. If he had to classify it as anything he would say it was a mixture of longing and regret not emotions he would have ever associated with Essek, honestly in his most uncharitable moments he would have said that his brother didn’t have any emotions at all. Stepping up to the rail next to his brother he waited for him to acknowledge his presence. Other than the slowly shuttering expression hiding away that openness and emotion away from where Verin could see it his brother didn’t give any sign that he knew he was there.

“Please don’t, I haven’t seen you express this much emotion since before your consecution ceremony. It’s a good look on you, you don’t need to hide it from me. I would never use that against you.” It was a peace offering as much it was a plea, this was a person that he would gladly like to know not the cold calculating individual that their childhood had molded him into that dealt in favors and manipulation. Even now he could see that Essek didn’t believe him. Lips twisting into a wry and bitter smirk and a forced sharp self-deprecating breath from flared nostrils his brother said nothing only taking a long drink from the crystal wine glass he only just realized his brother was holding. A closer look revealed the matching wine decanter firmly fixed in the air at Essek’s elbow.

“I think you would be one of the only ones who wouldn’t. Go back to bed Verin, you’ve never enjoyed my company before and I doubt you truly wish it now.” There was a raw note in his voice barely perceptible as if he had tried to suppress it and were only marginally successful. Something wasn’t right here, something was troubling his brother, never before had it truly dawned on him just how alone Essek truly was and for the first time he doubted that that was how he preferred or even wanted it. It seemed that he needed someone right now and in the absence of whomever that guest room was for the least he could do was try to help. He may not see eye to eye with his sibling on most things but he didn’t like to think that he was the kind of person to ignore when someone needed support just because he disliked most of their life’s choices.

“Look something is obviously bothering you, even I noticed tonight at dinner and I know you like to say that I’m about as observant as a rock. I’m offering a non-judgmental ear sounds like you could use one right now.” Leaning forward on his elbows relishing the chilly breeze that flirting with his hair Verin followed his brother’s gaze trying to see what might have been the cause of that earlier expression. The sky line of the Gallimaufry stood silhouetted against the midnight sky lights in blue, purple, and green lighting up various buildings and streets, and above all a massive tree dominated a portion of the sky erupting from a tower seeming to glitter with winking lights. _Ahh that’s what caused that expression_ , he thought after all he had heard about that outrageous action in one of their mother’s previous missives, something must have happened between him and his wards. It was an odd thought, he wouldn’t have expected Essek to have gotten attached to them especially knowing how much he seemed to prefer solitude and quiet; from everything he had heard about these people they were the antithesis of that. However, maybe that was just the sort of thing that he had needed. A group of people not affiliated with any Den that reportedly didn’t stand on ceremony or hold any sort of expectations on what proper decorum was no matter who you were. If the rumors were to be believed they didn’t play by the carefully constructed rules that their society deemed important and that his brother seemed to rigidly adhere to.

“Non-judgmental, you? Eighty years of experience prove otherwise.” In any other circumstances he might have taken offense at that jibe and said something to effect of ‘see if I care next time’; but, tonight with all the little things that had been off with Essek he didn’t take the bait. From the way he was watching him from the corner of his eye obviously waiting for just that sort of reaction it was clear that that was the reaction he had been aiming for. _Oh I’m not playing that game anymore, I’m trying to be better than that I’m not walking away this time. How many times did you manipulate people into leaving you alone when you needed them the most simply because you would rather not deal with the messiness that comes with emotion? I wonder how many people have noticed and let you get away with it._

“Well I’ve learned that I don’t have to be that person anymore. That I can be better than what I was before, better than what we were pushed to be. One of the lieutenants under my command has a saying something to the effect of being better angels of our nature, but then again he’s an Aasimar so it may be joke.” It was gratifying to see his brother shake his head slightly in amusement despite himself. Hoping that would at least prompt another response, if only to berate him for such terrible humor, it was disappointing when that slight headshake was the only response and he had other than to finish off the glass of wine and pour another one. Okay, time for attempt number two.

“They got caught in the crossfire of one of your manipulations and schemes didn’t they? You became fond of them and now they’re upset with you and you have no idea how to fix it.” He watched as his brother flinched made all the more obvious since, as he finally registered the fact, Essek wasn’t wearing the Shadowhand mantle that he was never seen without. _So that’s it, that’s why you reacted every time mother brought up your charges. I’m assuming she also knows or at least suspects how fond of them you are and was making a point to remind you how much she doesn’t approve._ There was a wildness to his brother’s gaze at this point and his lips were pressed into such a tight line that skin was blanched a pale lavender grey. Tension was thrumming through Essek’s frame and if Verin didn’t know any better he would almost swear there was terror in his eyes barely masked by rage. _Are you really that afraid of caring about people other than yourself?_

“I think you need to leave. Go back to the guest room and stay there until tomorrow morning.” There was an underlying threat to those words, a warning that he was perfectly ready to defend those feelings to the grave if need be. Once again it seemed that he had misunderstood what Verin meant and he had a very short window to try to talk him down. Raising his hands slowly in placating manner he spoke, “I didn’t mean to touch a nerve, I was just guessing at what might be the cause of your troubled mood. Look the offer still stands I’ll listen to whatever is bothering you free of judgment. You don’t have to tell me what caused it as I’m ninety percent sure your reaction confirmed that. I’m just going to assume that it was something you had to do in relation to your Shadowhand duties and that I’m better off not knowing.”

Gradually he watched as Essek seemed to calm down and pull all the emotions that had been on display into himself and lock them away. He suppressed a sigh, it seemed that he had made an absolute mess of trying to help. Perhaps he could ask the few friends that he had in Bazzoxan what he could have done differently in this situation that might have helped. On the verge of just turning back towards the door and the guest room, Verin stopped as he watched his brother’s spine stiffen and his eyes seemingly unfocused. He had been the recipient of enough sending spells giving him new orders for Bazzoxan that he recognized the effect. After what seemed like an eternity but was likely only a few seconds Essek’s posture relaxed, though curiously enough he didn’t speak for a few moments almost as if waiting on something else.

“I’m not sleeping this time but it’s still late. I’m glad to hear that all of you are fine. Are you returning soon?” As Essek spoke to whomever was messaging him, he got the feeling that it wasn’t part of his brother’s whisper web so to speak. It almost felt as if his brother had forgotten that Verin was standing right there next to him as a soft smile stole across his face. It must have been one of his group of mercenaries then, the ones that were upset with him. Though he truly doubted that they were all that upset if they were still messaging his brother with updates as to their wellbeing. Perhaps hearing that would make him more likely to take his advice.

“I take it that was one of your wards? It didn’t sound like one of your informants but I could be wrong.” Speaking broke the spell of whatever small contentment Essek seemed to derive from talking, if only briefly, with someone that he was beginning to suspect was closer to a friend than anything else. _And isn’t that an odd thought, Essek actually having a friend._ The effect was instantaneous the tension that had leached out of his brother’s frame snapped back into place like manacles and a snarl began to form on his face.

“I thought I told you leave.”

“No, you’re obviously upset and out of sorts over something. Let me help, I’m trying to be better. We don’t have to be what we were raised to be. I’m tired, Essek, of dreading coming back to this city knowing that the moment I do I’m going to get pulled into the power games you and mother enjoy playing. Has it finally become viscerally real to you that people aren’t game pieces on a war board for you to move as you please? Because as much as I’m glad it’s a lesson you seem to have finally learned I don’t enjoy that it’s seemingly caused you such emotional turmoil.” It was an outburst that he hadn’t intended to make, but exasperation, exhaustion, and wishful thinking caused it to burst forth. If he hadn’t been so emotionally drained it would be almost comical the way Essek stared him as if this were the first time he was truly seeing Verin, though for all he knew perhaps it was in a way. Keeping quiet he waited for his brother to respond. _Just like getting a moorbounder to trust you, show you mean it no harm and let them come to you_ , though it was a little comical to compare his usually so composed and polished sibling to a wild animal but tonight it felt apt. Finally he heard a low bitter chuckle almost inaudible in the light breeze. 

“Leave things better than they were before.” There was a peculiar intonation to the words almost as if he hadn’t meant to speak them aloud and was simply quoting something that was said to him. _Had someone said that to his brother in the recent past? If so why did that phrase seem to hold so much significance to Essek?_ It was just another piece in the puzzle that his brother had become over the years since his consecution and only now did he find that he had the patience or will to try and resolve at least a small portion of it.

“You keep mentioning that you’re trying to be better than what we were raised to be, do you think that it’s possible? To change or for others to change you?” Surprisingly it hurt to hear the wariness in the questions; the awkwardness of the words as if by going off script from their relationship and it’s perceived roles it left his silver tongued sibling floundering. Once he might have gloated about that but now it just seemed sad and hollow. Chancing a glance in his brother’s direction ( _When had he looked away in the first place?_ ) Verin saw that Essek had turned his gaze once again towards the tree on the horizon. If these mercenaries that his brother adopted, for that seems to be what happened or vice versa was the more likely scenario, were responsible for these small changes in his brother then he was prepared to defend that relationship from anything short of treason. Because for the first time in a very long time he saw in Essek someone that he might actually enjoy knowing someday.

“Yes, I do. Why do you think I prefer the company of my fellow soldiers in the Aurora Watch? Because there’s a camaraderie there that almost feels like what I wish family felt like, at least amongst those who are not from any of the major dens. It’s not an easy process and it’s not a comfortable process, you’ll backslide and make mistakes. Like the comment I made earlier tonight. It was cruel and like I said I’m trying to be better than that. The thing is, is that you have to want to change in order for it to work; however, I’ve found that if you have people that you want to be better for it makes it easier.” It was a not so subtle hint but he was trying and hoping that he would at least be met halfway. Another one of those self-deprecating laughs that was more forced breath than sound was his only response as he watched Essek take drink of the wine he had poured earlier and he wondered just how full that decanter had been the at the start of the night. 

“I wouldn’t know where to start.” Essek’s voice sounded tired and defeated, almost as if he’d given up on the idea before he had ever tried. It was ironic that he had been the one to figure this lesson out before the “prodigy” had though privately he wondered if the fact that his brother had been labeled that was part of the reason why he hadn’t learned it before now. He knew that his sibling was used to thinking and viewing the world like it was a strategy game everything a moving part of an equation that he was running in his head. Taking the actions that would get him the desired outcome with the least amount of resistance or effort. They had both been raised to see the world in this manner, Verin had never agreed with it and had never been good at it. That gave him a slight advantage over Essek in this regard in that he was able see the solution to the question simply because he didn’t look for a single set of actions that would cause everything to fall in line and bring about the desired change in an expedient manner. 

“You start small. In your case I would start by making amends with your friends. It may take a long time and it may not work, but if they’re still sending you updates letting you know that they’re alright, I think that there’s hope your relationship with them can be repaired.” Relief caused his shoulders to slump as he watched his brother seemingly consider the advice. A small gesture and the wine glass joined the decanter fixed in the air by the walkway railing, _showoff_ , the thought tinged with fondness instead of irritation for once. Long fingers tapped against lips and against each other as Essek thought. It was animated in a way that they had never been allowed to be growing up and he wondered if they were actions that his sibling had picked up from his friends. 

“I don’t suppose you know anything about pastries?” The question was so random that it temporarily stunned him. _What do pastries have to do with anything we were just talking about?_ His confusion must have shown on his face because, Essek (with the exact same exasperation he had always displayed whenever anyone couldn’t keep up his train of thought) explained; “Jester requests that I bring pastries whenever I see them. The one time I actually served pastries I was told they weren’t very good and were too bland. Now, short of going to Nicodranus and picking up some of these…bear claws…she talks so much about, I don’t actually know what I should be looking for in a good pastry.” 

Verin was going to pretend that he hadn’t just heard his brother suggest that he would go to Empire Aligned territory in direct defiance of the Dynasty’s laws to pick out pastries in an attempt to start making amends with these people that he had become friends with. After all it had been said in example and it wasn’t admissible as intent; but, still it would be a good idea to remind him of that, “I do sincerely hope that you did not just suggest that you were considering going to Empire aligned territory for pastries.” 

He didn’t expect an answer in fact he was hoping that he didn’t get an answer in response. Thankfully it seemed that his brother had only been joking if the disgusted and annoyed look he got in return was anything to go by. Raising his hands placatingly he said, “Easy just making sure. Having to arrest you would put a strain on this already strained relationship. That being said I do know a bit but only about the quality of a few of the bakeries in Bazzoxan not here in Rosohna so I’m not sure how much that will help.”

The calculating look that had entered Essek’s eyes at his words coupled with the slow pleased smile that was creeping its way across his face was unnerving and rang warning bells in the back of Verin’s head. Whatever his brother was thinking or about to suggest was most likely going to be something that he was not going to approve of nor wish to take part in. Still he kept silent waiting for him to speak if only so he could attempt to reign in whatever morally questionable idea was about to be suggested. 

“If you wish to return to Bazzoxan tonight I wouldn’t be opposed to taking you there. I’ll even make your excuses in the morning, after all with a city like Bazzoxan there’s so many things that could go wrong that require the Taskhand’s presence. You wouldn’t even have to lie. What do you say? I take you home tonight and you tell me or show me what bakeries you prefer there and I tell the Umavi that you received urgent news that required your presence immediately. It’s a win/win situation for both of us.” There was the sibling he was familiar with far more comfortable with transactional based relationships than he was anything else. Verin couldn’t deny that it sounded tempting if only to avoid any more family power games until the next time he just couldn’t avoid one their mother’s missives. He could break whatever fragile camaraderie that he had managed to build tonight and refuse the offer condemning himself to a very uncomfortable breakfast tomorrow morning with his mother and a slighted Essek in order to avoid lying by proxy; or he could accept the offer and spend the rest of the night in his own bed, not have to deal with family power games, and be guilty of lying by proxy but be one step closer to repairing the relationship between himself and his brother. Essek’s words from earlier echoed in his head, _leave it better than you found it_. In the end the choice wasn’t that hard to make, though he still needed to make sure of something first. 

“How much of that wine have you had tonight?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Verin returns home to Bazzoxan and realizes a few things about his brother. Also he mildly regrets introducing Essek to two of his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this took longer than expected because work got in the way thanks to having a new form drop about three weeks ago and thanks to five departments that refuse to talk to each other I had to copy paste the information from twelve different reports that had already been routing for signatures long before these new forms dropped into these new forms. But it's done. 
> 
> Also if Verin comes across as a bit more mature than Essek in this chapter even though he's the younger brother. Well Essek dumped his wisdom stat and also figure it's akin to the phenomenon of when you're from a small town and you graduate go away to college and your best friend didn't. So while you're out experiencing a whole different place and wider scope of the world, your friend is still in the same environment they've always been in and don't have the experience or impetus to grow the same way you're growing if that makes any sense.

_I could have phrased that better,_ Verin thought with an internal wince as he could see the beginnings of anger wisp across his brother’s face, _I forgot how touchy he could be about things_. “I’m not teleporting with you, if you’re drunk. That’s just a bad idea all around and it’s not just you, I wouldn’t let any wizard teleport me if they’ve been drinking. I trust you to know what your limits are so I’m asking before we get ourselves into a bad situation. No offense intended.” 

It was mildly amusing to watch his brother pause, process what he said, then glance at the decanter currently floating in the air. _Definitely a good thing I asked_. A fluid rotation of his brother’s wrist and a crude vaguely humanoid figure made of sticks and string appeared in his hand. With a complicated hand gesture and a not quite barked word a faint sensation of a ripple in the air bloomed in front of his brother. _So that was obviously a spell but I don’t know any spells other than Lesser Restoration that can cure any degree of intoxication and I somehow I don’t believe Essek has taken up a position as one of the Luxon’s clerics no matter how prodigious he is._

“Get me the Antitoxin potion from the inner pocket of my mantle, it’s in my study,” Essek’s command startled him and for a brief second he thought that it might have been directed at him. Only for that faint sensation of rippling air to brush past him towards the tower to Essek’s right. _Not directed at me then, an Unseen Servant_. Feeling vaguely silly over his initial thought that the command was meant for him, Verin tried to laugh it off. 

“You carry Antitoxin potions in your mantle? I would think that would be a bit paranoid, but I truly know nothing of what types of dangers you face on a day to day basis.” _Please don’t take offense, I’m trying my best here to find even ground to converse with you on; but Light you make it so hard to do so._ Thankfully it looked like his brother rather than taking offense smiled thinly and in a light tone of voice that did not fit the following words at all, in Verin’s opinion, Essek explained. 

“Having been the unfortunate recipient of a gift of poisoned wine recently, I have found it incredibly prudent to be prepared in case someone decides to attempt it again.” A cold shiver ran down his spine at that revelation, “It also has the added benefit of absorbing and minimizing the effects of alcohol.” Honestly he wasn’t sure he wanted to know how his brother had figured out that last bit of information. _Oh, you can keep your cut throat politics and smiling faces with daggers clutched behind their backs to yourself. I would much rather face the screaming hordes of the Abyss any day._ Verin couldn’t help the nervous chuckle that escaped at the thought. 

“I do not envy you your position. At least my enemies come at me from the front and I know they’re trying to kill me. I can’t imagine not being able to trust my food and drink. I guess even the master of the Lens must be prepared for the same hazards as his operatives.” Watching as the words that echoed his previous thought bled the defensive tension out of Essek’s frame, he settled in to wait for the Unseen Servant to return with the potion. Staring back out at the tree with its myriad of tiny blinking lights he couldn’t help but wonder what the inside of such a house was like, probably too brightly lit to be entirely comfortable given that at least two of their number were human. But if they had managed to entice his brother into lowering some of his masks and walls then he was willing to bet that it was a comfortable and welcoming place. Perhaps, if everything went well and this tentative rebuilding of their relationship didn’t sour, he would have the chance to see inside and meet these people his brother obviously cared about to the point where it was causing him emotional turmoil to be at odds with them. The slight rippling disturbance in the air heralded the return of the Unseen Servant and turning he could see Essek reach out and take a crystal vial filled with a black sludge like potion. _That doesn’t look like a standard Antitoxin potion that almost looks like a poison. Though I wouldn’t know what the Antitoxin potions for ingested poisons or toxins would look like our standard kits have topical Antitoxin potions and salves combined with antivenin potions._ Even though he trusted that his brother knew what he was doing, it still didn’t stop his heart from jumping into his throat watching him break the seal, pop the cork, and toss back the potion with grimace. For a second it looked as if Essek was going to gag and he made an aborted motion towards him heart pounding. However seconds later his brother made a truly disgusted face so he could only surmise that the potion just tasted as awful as it looked. Just to be sure however he waited for a breath or two watching for any signs that the potion had gone off. 

“Judging by the look on your face that tastes every bit as unpleasant as it looked. Are you sure that wasn’t actually a poison?” By turning the question into a teasing joke he should be able to camouflage his concern without provoking Essek into thinking that he was questioning his competence. Thankfully it seemed to work and he couldn’t help but meet his brother’s small huff of laughter with an easy grin of his own. The small almost shy smile he received in return felt more real than even the wistful expression he caught on his sibling’s face earlier. Still he couldn’t help the childish glee at the sight of his normally poised, proper, and groomed to within in an inch of his life brother with teeth stained a dusty grey with black delineations where the potion residue had collected in the grooves between each tooth. Almost immediately he regretted it as Essek’s expression began to shutter again into the impassive mask that he showed to world. _Luxon bless I wish you were less prickly_. Though he supposed he couldn’t really blame him, after all Verin had been much the same before he had spent two decades away from Rosohna and the Den Politics the city thrived on. 

“Just so you know your teeth are stained grey right now and I would assume your tongue is as well.” It was the least he could do to salvage the situation, and he knew just how much weight his brother put on his own appearance and being perfectly presentable at all times. Almost immediately at his words Essek cast a spell that seemed to remove any traces of the black potion from his mouth. The thin polite smile he was given afterwards felt like two steps back and Verin wished that he was a little better at hiding his feelings. _I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, we both have so much to unlearn. So don’t be discouraged as long as we’re both making the effort we can get to the point where we’re at least friends. Just have a little faith in each other._ A flourishing hand gesture caught his eye and looking closer he watched as the stick and string figure disappeared from Essek’s hand and a glittering blue stick of chalk replaced it. Turning an expectant look on him his brother said, “I’m ready when you are if you’re planning on taking me up on the offer to teleport you back to Bazzoxan tonight. 

While the words had a slightly peevish tinge he couldn’t blame him, it was surprising since it appeared that Essek meant right now. No stipulations to wait where he was while his brother retrieved his mantle, feet still solidly on the ground. It was one thing to forego those elements in his own home and truthfully Verin suspected that if he hadn’t surprised his brother earlier he wouldn’t have been allowed to see him without those barriers. Either he had forgotten that he wasn’t wearing it which was unlikely given that he had sent the Unseen Servant to get the potion or he was truly anxious to apologize to this friend that he was disregarding everything else. Essek interrupted his thought train, “Is there a problem? Having second thoughts, I can assure that the potion has had enough time to work so there are no chances of ending up in the wrong location as we’re teleporting to the Bazzoxan teleportation circle.” 

His brother’s words were just a hair too fast to be considered nonchalant, even though his face wasn’t giving away any signs of distress. Apparently he remained silent for too long as Essek’s posture began to hunch in on itself starting with his shoulders followed by his right hand making an aborted grabbing motion as if trying to pull loose fabric closer to him. He had to say something because he knew just how much his brother’s reputation meant to him and it was clear that he wasn’t comfortable.

“You’re not going to get your mantle?” he kept his voice soft and questioning, the last thing he wanted was for Essek to feel like he was being attacked. He wasn’t sure that his sibling realized just how open he was being right now, how much that he could read about his mental state just from his posture. In fact Verin was sure that was the main reason his brother never let himself be seen in public without the voluminous mantle with its sculpted metal collar closure and pauldrons. Watching as his brother recoiled slightly at his words right hand reaching towards his elbow in the old childhood defensive tell then dropping back to his side with a sigh. 

“No, I’m not visiting Bazzoxan in any kind of official capacity and I wouldn’t want to imply that I am. As I mentioned earlier tonight things have been tenser than normal and it wouldn’t be prudent to court suspicion. I’m simply doing a favor for my sibling and running a personal errand.” The words were defensive and just a hair off combative in tone. Things must have been more fraught than he had let on during dinner if just him wearing the mantle while teleporting to Bazzoxan would draw suspicion. Still he could see that Essek was uncomfortable. _I’ll try once more, just to make sure that this is how he wants to be seen, I don’t mind waiting if it means that he is comfortable._

“I haven’t seen you go out in public without the mantle since you were given the position of Shadowhand,” _and you consistently wore heavy cloaks and wide sleeved robes before that_ , “Essek this is the first time in over two decades that I’ve seen your feet on the ground. Forgive me for being a bit surprised this is quite the change for you. Are you sure that you’re okay with being seen in public like this?”

He couldn’t help the way his voice gentled on the question. It was one thing to be faced with the presence Essek exuded while wearing the mantle and his position like a crown; his gravitational field lifting him above the ground and its implied rabble, and quite another to see him in a long slim fitting sleeveless tunic topped by a high necked tailored cropped jacket that barely brushed the bottom of his rib cage, and close cut breeches tucked into soft supple calf high boots with his feet rooted firmly to the walkway. He seemed smaller like this with the delicate bone structure that he had inherited from their mother clearly on display, less distant and easier to read. Verin could see his brother war with himself before answering a waspish edge to his voice. 

“Do I need to put on airs for you? I would think that you would find that irritating. I can if you would like.” That was not what he meant at all and it seemed that his brother was missing the point entirely. Whether it was because he was trying to hide how uncomfortable he was or if he truly thought that he was fine Verin didn’t know. It didn’t miss his notice that his brother’s heels had started to lift off the ground ever so slightly as if in reflexive response to his words. 

“Oh Luxon bless no, it’s nice seeing this side of you;” _you have no idea how nice it is to see more than your masks,_ “but I also know a thing or two about defense mechanisms. Light knows I have a fair few of my own.” _And they all come into play as soon as I’m back in this city._ “Are you comfortable being in public without the added distance of the mantle?” _I’m giving you an out, it’s not a weakness if you accept it. I told you that I would never use your emotions against you, will you believe me, I wonder._ His brother’s eyes darted back and forth as he considered his words. 

“I suppose we’ll find out.” The grimace attempting to be a smile that accompanied those words brought an internal wince. _All right if you insist, but I’ll do my best to run interference if I have to. I like this side of you but I’ll be damned if I let others exploit it._ Essek continued speaking oblivious to his silent promise.“Well shall we? I don’t suppose that you have a sending stone to contact whomever of your men and women are on teleportation circle guard shift tonight?” _Unfortunately we don’t have that kind of support, I just hope that you don’t learn how little support we actually have._ “I’m afraid I don’t know them well enough to cast Sending myself. I would prefer not to be threatened upon arrival.”

_Okay fair, it’s not like the teleportation chamber in the Lucid Bastion and unexpected and unrecognized arrivals are considered hostile until proved otherwise._ _Though it’s curious that we’re using a teleportation circle, I know that he’s capable of teleporting without one._

“I don’t but I told them to expect me back sometime tonight, I didn’t anticipate mother demanding my presence for more than this evening,” _given that I would normally do anything to avoid being in this city for more than a few hours even if I hadn’t told them, they would have expected me._ “They might be slightly surprised that it’s you who is teleporting me back and not one of the war mages attached to the Rosohna Aurora Watch detachments,” _that’s an understatement it’s not like I keep it a secret that I’m more than a little estranged from my den as a whole without adding in warranting being teleported back by the Dynasty’s Shadowhand who just happens to be my older brother,_ “but otherwise they should be expecting me.” The niggling earlier thought regarding the teleportation circle instead of teleporting without one had turned into a burning curiosity. _This could be a case of curiosity killed the moorbounder but….._ “Though I am curious why we’re using the teleportation circle, I know you’re capable of teleporting without one and I’m also relatively certain that you had the floor plans to my home memorized within days of me purchasing it.” 

The smug grin that pasted itself across his brother’s face was as relieving as it was mildly irritating. _I suppose I should be glad that he hasn’t had need to visit me and appeared unannounced._ That relief was short lived though as he watched the grin falter and Essek’s cheeks and ears flushed deep purple as blood flooded to his face. Clearly that was something of a sore topic though he wasn’t sure why.

“I may have used most of my energy reserves earlier teleporting to my wine cellar and back.” The words were halting and his brother’s eyes were darting looking everywhere but him. _Oh, oh, that comment cut much deeper than I thought_. Regret panged through his chest as the realization that he had upset Essek enough that he had burned through his energy reserves simply to avoid another possible confrontation with him. Every instinct he had was demanding that he apologize again, that he make this right, but he knew that would only make the situation worse. Also unless he missed his guess, and his internal clock was very rarely wrong, it was approximately quarter past two am and it wouldn’t surprise him if their mother decided on a “sunrise” breakfast. Verin would prefer to be back at his post by then. So with an internal promise to make it up somehow to Essek he let it go shrugging it off like his brother clearly wanted him to do. 

“You know what I’m not going to pry, we’re wasting time and the longer we stand here the more likely mother is to summon us early. I would much rather be home than here when it comes.” It was obviously the best choice of action as the flush and tension left his brother’s body with a small sigh of relief. Following as he turned on his heels leading them towards the center where the walkways met under a shifting rotating series of metal curves and rings suspended between all three towers. Maybe someday he would be able to ask just what that was but not tonight. Watching as glimmering blue circles, lines, and symbols took shape under Essek’s steady hand, he couldn’t help but appreciate the amount of skill it took to reproduce something so complicated from memory without mistakes. Finally the last line was closed and with a quick hand gesture and a murmured word the circle blazed with arcane light. His brother waved him through the circle first, a much smoother and less gut twisting trip than his previous experiences had been. 

There was a slight echo as his feet touched down on the slate floor of the outpost’s teleportation chamber, a second echo sounding a half beat after his own as Essek’s feet also hit the ground. He could see that Captain Angkar Beltune and a watchman that he couldn’t immediately recognize were on guard tonight. Both turned slightly at the sound of their feet touching down, the watchmen clutching his spear a little more tightly and sending a questioning glance towards the Captain. One of the new recruits then, hopefully he lost the jumpiness in time this posting was far too dangerous for a chronic case of nerves. The relieved look Angkar gave him sent tendrils of concern running down his spine. Surely one of their war mages or clerics would have cast Sending if the Umbra Gates had opened again. 

“Taskhand Thelyss, it’s good to have you back. Commander Icozorin wanted to see you regarding the latest supply shipment, it’s not good sir.” Exhaustion settled like a shroud over him, if Honor was waiting for him to return it must be worse than usual. At least he had returned tonight instead of who knows when on the whims of his mother. It at least gave him enough time to plan around and mitigate whatever damage had been done. It grated on him that his people were consistently under armed and armored, that the civilians who made their home here (mostly the children and spouses of Watch members with a few desperate enterprising souls thrown in) had to make do with what they could improvise.

“Forgive us Shadowhand we didn’t recognize you,” the shaky halting greeting from the watchman reminded him that Essek was also with him. _Dammit how much of that did he hear. Hopefully he disregards it if he did, this isn’t a situation that inter-Den politics needs to exacerbate._

“I’m afraid I’m just Essek Thelyss tonight. I’m only returning my brother to his post and picking up a few items that I cannot get in Rosohna.” Breathing a silent sigh of relief that his brother hadn’t seemed to take offense to the recent recruit’s statement, Verin winced internally as he followed up knowing how it would sound to the watchman. “No need to stand on ceremony for me this night, believe me if I were here on official business you’d know.” 

Just as he suspected this particular watchman was one of the recent assignees recruited straight out of the Coronas of Rosohna given the way he took that last statement as a chastisement. Glancing over he could see the Court polite smile on his brother’s face falter and his pale gold eyes met Verin’s own his left eyebrow arched slightly. He subtly tipped his head towards the clearly nervous Watchman in an obvious ‘he’s your troop, you deal with it’ motion. It was amazing to him how his brother could navigate the social and political intricacies of the Bright Court and still be so spectacularly bad at dealing with people one on one. This wasn’t helping the sudden pall of exhaustion, but the Captain was waiting for a response anyway so he stifled a sigh.

“Thank you Captain Beltune, I will get in contact with Commander Icozorin shortly. Watchman?” pausing, he hadn’t yet managed to put faces to names of all the new recruits and wouldn’t be able to for a couple of months yet. The way his question seemed to fluster the poor soldier confirmed the suspicion that he was one of the ones that had come in without even a family name outside of the twelve named Dens. 

“Watchman Arvress, sir. I don’t have a Den name,” the name rang a bell and it took him a few seconds to place the name Arvress. 

“Ah yes, arrived a week and a half ago, to replace Watchman Illyria Olios who redeployed back to Assarius, assigned under Commander Duendalos. You’ll do well in that unit he’s a fair commander and doesn’t discriminate against those not born to a Den.” That last was a bit of an understatement Ivaris Duendalos, had been born in the Coronas and been re-adopted back into Den Duendalos upon his amniesis. That first seventy years scraping by in the Coronas had been very eye-opening for him, it was one of the reasons he had broken from his Den and requested a post here. 

The recognition seemed to settle the Watchman and Verin breathed a sigh of relief hopefully he would be more at ease in his posting now that he knew that he wasn’t in trouble. Unfortunately if he knew anything about Honor she would probably be lying in wait for him outside this fortress, which would mean delaying his end of the bargain with Essek. Given the nervous and prickly behavior prior to teleporting he was probably going to be irritable and tetchy the longer it took, exacerbated by the fact that he was acting outside of the expectations and reputation he had built for himself. Turning an apologetic look his way, “I’m afraid that I need to take care of this first before I assist you in finding what you’re looking for. You can wait in my house if you wish, I’m sure you know the way.” 

_I’m not sure if I want you take me up on that offer or not. On one hand if you do chances are you’re going be annoyed and nursing a foul mood, on the other I really don’t want you finding about the sabotaged supplies because knowing you, and the way Mother’s been grooming you to be Denfather after her death, you’ll take it as a slight against our Den. The last thing I want is to make the situation worse by bringing retaliatory politics into play with this situation._

“If you’re not opposed to me accompanying you it would help me give a better excuse to why you at least are missing her breakfast summons in the morning.” _Godsdammit, he’s right._ Gesturing for Essek to go first, he murmured, “At ease Watch,” before stepping out of the chamber into the familiar depths of the fortress. He couldn’t stop the nagging worry that nibbled at his mind as he led his brother through the twisting labyrinthine halls and up the winding staircases towards the halo of garrison buildings that surrounded the fortress. A familiar set of foot long open spiral horns the color of polished onyx towered over the few Watch members changing shifts before resolving into the familiar armored form of his second in command striding towards them.

“Taskhand, you’re later than expected.” She must have assumed Essek’s presence to be official as she was only this formal with him during official meetings and inspections. A degree of informality was needed with how heavily he had relied on her experience and knowledge of the situation here in those first several years of his posting. He could read the tired frustration in the agitated flick of her tail and gave her an equally tired grimace. Since she was going to be formal it meant that he wasn’t able to bluntly ask what the damage was and instead had to verbally dance around the situation, which given his brother’s presence was probably for the best.

“Commander Icozorin, you can thank the Umavi of Den Thelyss for that, mother wanted me to stay for breakfast.” Hopefully Essek understood that he was simply teasing and not serious, “Lucky for me Essek generously offered to bring me home and make my excuses for me. I think he just wanted me out of his home.” The quicksilver smile that he directed Essek’s way was met by a slight amused quirk of a responding smile. It would appear that his brother’s sense of humor was very dry and honestly he could appreciate that. The throaty chuckle Honor gave in response held more than a bit of commiseration at the oft demanding whims they were expected to dance to at the behest of Rosohna’s Umavi. She then turned her attention on Essek brief and appraising.

“Well I would never have expected to see our Dynasty’s esteemed Shadowhand out here in the ass end of the Barbed Fields,” her blunt assessment was more in keeping with her personality than the formal address that she had used earlier. “Commander Honor Icozorin, Deputy Commander of the Bazzoxan Aurora Watch.”

He watched his brother carefully to see how he would react to his second in command and for the briefest of moments he thought he saw a trace of jealousy flit across Essek’s expression smoothing out again self-recrimination writ briefly in the set of his mouth. No doubt his brother thought that her respect had come easily, and compared to the struggle and constant uphill battle he had observed his brother had undergo to be taken seriously in his field of expertise and in his position he supposed it had. However unlike his brother, he knew he was in over his head with this posting; he knew that the commanders knew that he had gotten this position through shear nepotism. So the first thing he had done was call Honor into his office and let her know that he knew he was in over his head, that he was going to be relying heavily on her knowledge and experience. That all he asked was that she not undermine his position with the garrisons, that she let him know which Commanders he could trust and lean on and which ones he would have to assign to patrols and watches where they would do the least amount of damage. The ploy had worked.

Clearing his throat just to get her attention and subtly signal a lead into business, he asked the question that had been hovering on the back of his tongue since Captain Beltune had spoken in the chamber, “So what’s this about the latest supply shipment? Captain Beltune said it wasn’t good.” 

A grim expression overtook her features and his heart sank farther into his suddenly unsettled stomach. “It’s completely unusable. All of the weapons have glaring weak points from being unevenly tempered, the scales on the armor are starting to rust at the joinings, the leather straps and supports are cracked or rotten.” _Godsdammit, an entire arms shipment useless. If the Black temple and the Umbra Gates weren’t such a threat I would say that it would better to abandon this Luxon forsaken place if they aren’t going give us what we need to defend it._ “We can probably scrounge from what we have already and can repair, but it’s going to be a crap shoot on sizing and suitability combined with the new recruits we received all being denless and from the Coronas…” 

She was right a good quarter of their new recruits weren’t Drow which meant standard sizing was not going to help and given the fact that they no longer had a Beacon they were only going to receive denless recruits unlikely to ever be granted Consecution unless they got volunteers or troublesome members from major Dens from here on out. _We’ll find a way, but first things first find out which den was in charge of putting together and transporting the arms shipment that way we can plan around and for more shipments like this._

“We’ll figure something out, we always do.” Verin couldn’t keep exhaustion from coloring his words, “Do you know which Den was responsible for the shipment this time? I know that the supply lines change from time to time between a couple of the Dens.” _Please let me know, I already have to plan around Den Olios’s pettiness with the rations shipments every third month or so due to their feud with Den Icozorin. What other Den do I need to watch out for? Is this a new feud or a flare up of an old one._

“Den Tathisar, was in charge of overseeing the shipments this time. Though we probably should have expected something like this given their Den’s recent fall from grace.” It was hard not blame Essek for this, after all even though he knew it was Taskhand Adeen’s own actions and choice to betray the Dynasty that caused it, and that it was the Shadowhand’s job to ferret out spies and traitors while managing the Dynasty’s own intelligence agents, the fact of the matter was Den Tathisar was striking out against Den Thelyss and his people were suffering for it.

“Does this happen often? Supply shipments being sabotaged in this manner?” Essek’s low question reminded him that he was there listening to this exchange. Trading a quick glance and a nod with Honor letting her know he would handle this explanation she was free to go at this point if she wished and he would find her later to give directions on how they would fix this disaster to the best of their abilities. The quirk of her brow told him that there was no way she was leaving when this conversation still had the potential to be emotionally charged.

“Often enough, usually it’s only ten to twenty percent that is unusable or needs serious repairs not the entire shipment,” _of course that’s all most Dens dare to do, after all we’re out of sight out of mind here._ _Please just drop it Essek, this isn’t something that you can fix by retaliating for the perceived slight. Just let it go._ “It’s been going on for lifetimes before I took up the position. It’s just something I have to work around.” 

Unfortunately it didn’t appear that his brother accepted his explanation at face value if the way he looked expectantly at Honor for confirmation was any indication. Her eyes flickered over to him barely perceptible, and only because he had had two decades of practice, asking permission to fully disabuse Essek of any ignorance regarding this topic. He knew his brother wasn’t going to stop until he had an answer that satisfied him no matter how much Verin wished that he would let it go. Lips thinning into a hard line he nodded just an imperceptible incline of his head giving her permission to speak. The bladed smile she gave his brother was the only indication that she was going to enjoy letting him know the full uncomfortable truth of this posting.

“I’ve served four lifetimes here and this one will in likelihood be my last.” Her voice was matter of fact no trace of the turmoil that had been present in the days after the Beacon had been stolen. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that with a few notable or foolish exceptions those of us assigned here are either estranged from our Dens, have displeased either the Bright Queen or Dusk Captain in some way or our Den’s Umavi.” He supposed he was one of the foolish or notable exceptions, he had come here hoping to win glory and accolades from the Dynasty. Perhaps prove that he too was worthy of consecution the same as his prodigy of an elder brother. This posting however had disabused him of that in short order. “The Dens can do this because we’re in some way inconvenient and the high mortality rate for this outposting will in all likelihood remove their so-called problem children for them. One way to ensure that happens is make sure that those who can’t afford better quality equipment or supplies don’t get them. Your brother is the only Taskhand to actually do something about it in all my lifetimes.” 

That last bit was flattering and he was sure that it was more than a little untrue. This posting required the Taskhand to put aside Den loyalties and feuds if you were going to keep your populace alive. They didn’t have much by way of trade and very few travelers stopped in due to the city’s position near the Barbed Fields. It was far from the easy comfort of Rosohna, and judging by the troubled look on Essek’s face he was starting to realize that fact. 

“Are you not planning to return to your post here in your next life then?” The question caused Verin to flinch internally and flare of outrage on Honor’s behalf burn in his chest, before he managed to calm himself down. Essek couldn’t have known. It was odd to think of his older brother as sheltered, especially since his job was one of the most cutthroat and morally distasteful positions in the Dynasty. However, in this respect, he was; his brother rarely if ever left Rosohna and never long enough for his life to be in danger. Even when the Beacons had gone missing Rosohna was so far removed from the fronts and the fighting that odds of any of its consecuted populace dying before either Beacon was retrieved was non-existent. He had not had to break the news to the consecuted individuals that served here, most of them commanders, that their souls would be lost and not returned for another lifetime should they die on this ground. He had not had to see the despair and fear on their faces at the news. Even now Verin could see the way they looked as he poured each of them glasses of Erzfaalyu, (not the good quality stuff the cheap kind that was more akin the mineral spirits that artists used to thin their oil paints it; had been one of the first things he learned in the Aurora Watch never use high quality alcohol to numb despair that was a waste of good spirits), and promised that he’d do his best to make sure they stayed alive until the end of the war after that he would be able to write re-deployment orders for any consecuted individuals wishing to return to a posting in Rosohna. Only seven of them hadn’t taken him up on the offer, Honor among them. 

“This will be my last life,” to her credit Honor’s voice gave no indication of any regret or bitterness at that fact. “This posting has killed me four times I doubt that will change in this lifetime either. The only difference is that there is no longer a Beacon kept here, and I doubt there ever will be again; not after it was the first one to go missing. I’ve made my peace with that most of us have. Those that haven’t have already requested redeployment back to Rosohna.” Verin was watching Essek as she said that and so caught the wide eyed stricken expression that arrested his face for a split second before being buried under a faltering stoic mask. He supposed that it would be upsetting for any consecuted citizen to hear after all Essek had been assured many subsequent lifetimes at the almost unheard of age of seventy years old. 

Still the silence started to drift uncomfortably long as it appeared that his brother had gone into something akin to shock as he processed the reality of every consecuted individual here. He hated the grim expression that had made itself home on his second in command’s face and so strove to break the silence.

“Well there’s nothing we can do about it this moment.” It was both a gentle reminder and desperate attempt to break the pall that had wrapped them in a grim shroud. “Set aside what we can salvage and send the rest to Captain Omrifar’s husband to melt down and forge into something that is hopefully of use.” Already he could see that the clear direction and reminder that there were things that they were able to do to mitigate what terrible circumstances they could was relaxing Honor out of her somber mood, so he continued. “The steel itself should still be good. Talk to Watchman Prevya’s spouse for replacing the leather parts I believe the tanning process for that Horizonback skin should be complete;” (and hadn’t that danger been an unexpected stroke of luck in this case), “if so we can use a portion of that to do so. Just take the reimbursement out of my pay per usual.” 

Even after he said it Verin hoped that his brother was still too deep in shock to notice that last bit. However, once again Essek’s mind proved to be every bit as sharp as usual; and he zeroed in on the one part of his orders that he least wanted him to catch. 

“What do you mean by take the reimbursement out of your pay per usual?” there was a strange slightly disbelieving and questioning tone underlied by a silken tone of threat. He couldn’t help the grimace of frustration that crawled its way onto his lips, because this kind of reaction was the exact reason why he would have preferred Essek had gone to his manse and waited for him there. _Don’t you dare_ , he thought catching sight of the tiny catlike smirk Honor shot his way hoping that by some small miracle that she had somehow developed the ability to read thoughts overnight and could read that command from his mind.

“Your brother uses most of his pay to fix things like this situation,” she blithely said with an almost vicious cheerfulness. “Most of the time he’s only leaving himself enough for basic household costs. Why do you think almost all of the Commanders and Watch stationed here support him?” It was surprising to hear that his people respected him for a reason as small as that. “As I said before he’s the only Taskhand in most of our lifetimes to actually give a damn rather than write off the Denless members and let them make do with what they can get.” 

Verin really didn’t appreciate the admonishing look she shot him as he bit back a near silent groan of embarrassment. Nor did he appreciate her cheeky follow up to his obvious discomfort, “Sir, if you didn’t want him to know what you do for us then you shouldn’t have said that around him. It’s the Shadowhand’s job to be nosy. Besides someone should know what you do to keep us alive and this place defended.” The unspoken implications that his actions deserved consecution were obvious in her voice. Even still casting his gaze over towards Essek he could see him start to open his mouth no doubt to ask more questions that he didn’t want to answer. Time to distract him from hopefully stirring the wasp nest that made up the Dynasty’s politics. 

“Commander I don’t suppose your wife has already started the morning’s baking yet?” It was blatant change of subject and it was clear that she knew it if the laugh and wolfish grin she sent him was any indication. They both knew that he knew damn well that her wife was already working on her second batch of cobblestones at this point in time.

“Why are you craving some of her chocolate cinnamon cobblestones? If so she should have just taken the first batch out of the ovens if I’m correct about the time. Thought would you care to correct me if I’m wrong?” 

“It’s half past three in the morning,” he said well used to the old joke that he was the only working timepiece in this place. Honestly he was surprised, given how late it was in the early hours of the morning, that his brother wasn’t impatient to get what he came here for and leave. The three of them started drifting out into what passed as the civilian districts in the abandoned remains of the original city. He was rather proud of how the Watch and their dependents had adapted this place to make a somewhat comfortable life here. Passing by The Ready Room, he could see the three moorbounders that his brother’s friends had left there in the outside paddock. _Perhaps I can convince Essek to take them with him one of these days_ , he thought. They were too valuable to put down or release, and they were absolutely unhandleable by anyone except the owners they had chosen. They were also expensive to feed and growing tired of Horizonback meat.

Just past The Ready Room was the side alley that lead to the back door of the Breadstone Bakery. A smile started curl up the corners of his mouth as the redolent smell of warm bread, chocolate, and cinnamon filled the air. A warm glow spilled out the opened door into the alleyway a byproduct of the three massive brick ovens that provided most of the bread for this city. They drew to a stop in front of the cracked door, even standing several paces back he could feel the stifling heat produced by those ovens. Honor pushed the door open calling for her wife as she did so, tail twitching in a pleased manner.

“Direina?”

“In the front, love,” _She must be arranging the first batch of cobblestones or bread then,_ he thought before she immediately followed up with her usual salacious humor. “Did you decide that you needed some sugar once you got off work?” 

It was clear to anyone who spoke to her for any length of time why and how Direina had ended up being essentially driven out of Rosohna by a couple of offended minor members of Den Mirimm. She was outspoken and rough around the edges with a bawdy sense of humor that scandalized the oh so very restrained and refined senses of the major Dens. Glancing over at Essek he saw a tell-tale deep plum flush spreading across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. Direina certainly wasn’t like anyone his brother would have interacted with before amongst the Dens, though he had heard some rumors about the Mighty Nein that seemed to nothing more than fanciful rumor if his brother was blushing at that mild innuendo. Still he supposed that he should come to his brother’s rescue when he turned an embarrassed glare on him at his snicker of amusement. 

“They’re always like. No sense of propriety in front of guests,” he raised his voice deliberately raised to carry to Direina just to get her going. An old game born of long familiarity, much to the chagrin of her wife.

“Your highborn sense of propriety can kiss my ass Verin. My establishment, my rules, and if I want to flirt outrageously with my wife in my bakery I will.” There was a laugh in her voice and an impish smile on her face though she did give Essek an appraising once over that clearly set his brother on edge. The first tingles of alarm began to prick their way down the back of his neck, if Essek reacted badly to her tensing this could be a disaster and meeting Honor’s eyes she knew it too. 

“Look I don’t care what Den you’re from of what lofty position you hold, this is my establishment and I won’t be told how to behave in a business I own.” Her tone was defensive and Verin could only conclude that she had seen something in Essek’s expression that she didn’t like. Both he and Honor exchanged a look if this was going to go south he would wrangle his brother and she would handle her wife. _Luxon help me, please don’t take offense to this, I’m not sure I can stop you if you start casting._ To his surprise though his brother relaxed his shoulders a little and huffed a small amused chuckle with a wisp of a grin. 

“I have a feeling that you and Beauregard would get on like a house fire. Hopefully for my own peace of mind, and most likely Verin’s as well, you two never meet.” That…that was interesting, Verin was sure that if this incident had happened not even six months ago that exchange would have gone very differently. Now that she knew his brother was not going to take offense she turned to take the next batch of cobblestones out of the oven, motioning for them to follow her into the building. 

“Now I highly doubt you’re here for my stellar personality, with the exception of my wife, so I can only assume you’re here for my baked goods. So what were you so eager to get your hands on that it couldn’t wait until I opened my doors properly?” He waited a beat for Essek to respond only to find him staring in fascination as she hefted the heavy long handled wooden paddle above her shoulders to scoop the pan of cobblestones from the top rack of the oven. If he wasn’t relatively certain that his brother’s sexual orientation was arcana and knowledge and nothing else he might even be tempted to say his expression was awed attraction. Though he was mostly just sure that his brother was surprised that a woman even shorter than him was able to lift and maneuver heavy and awkward equipment. There was a reason after all why during attacks she was able to maneuver, load, and fire one of the two person arbalests mounted on the watch towers by herself. Still it didn’t look like Essek was going to be speaking any time soon.

“Well my brother needs to redeem his taste in pasteries for one of his wards and given that he has no sweet tooth whatsoever, I decided to help him out,” he knew exactly how she was going to interpret this statement and he was looking forward to flustered his brother got over it. “Yours are the best pastries I’ve had so I managed to cut a deal. I don’t suppose you could spare some of your chocolate cinnamon cobblestones? They are your specialty and should be guaranteed to redeem his previous lackluster offering.” 

Sure enough a mischievous teasing spark lit up her eyes and sly smile curled up the edges of her mouth, before she answered in an innuendo laden tone, “Tried to win someone’s affection through the age of tactic of feeding them and fell a bit short of the mark did you?” 

It was a struggle not start laughing as the deep plum flush from earlier spread from his cheeks to the tips of his ears and he silently sputtered trying to deny the accusation. Direina continued pretending to be cheerfully oblivious to the embarrassment her teasing was causing, “Well you won’t have that issue with my chocolate cinnamon cobblestones. Lieutenant VaSuun graciously pays a lovely courier to pick up cinnamon and chocolate for us imported from Marquette via Port Damali from a contact somewhere near the Savalier Woods to the south of us. They’re my own creation and you won’t find anything like them anywhere else.” 

That little arrangement was one that he had, had to look closely at since there wasn’t official trade between the Menagerie Coast and the Dynasty being Empire aligned as it was. Though he concluded that it was a bit shady it the goods weren’t actually being illegally imported or smuggled. The courier, a cheerful dark skinned Aasimar with a radiant halo that looped through here on a fairly regular basis wasn’t prohibited from transporting goods from the Savalier Woods more specifically he had found from Shady Creek Run. Apparently a very, very distant cousin of Honor’s current birth father was the contact that brought the materials in. So he turned a blind eye to it, after all any form of luxury no matter how small was important to his people’s morale, especially now. 

“Tough customer, well I’ll include a couple of these anyway because they are my specialty; however, I do have some yunfaalyu plum tarts that are a bit sweeter which I can add as well.” _Dammit what did I miss while I was apparently gathering cobwebs_ , he thought slightly panicked. Looking up he saw Essek looking slightly panicked but calming down, he must have thought the cobblestones might not be sweet enough for this…Jester…individual. The plum tarts were a new item that she was trying out since they had also been given a rather large jar of floral honey by the courier this last time as well apparently it had been a gift from the recipients of her last job. A brief triumphant look flitted across his brother’s face as he seemingly figured something out, before speaking. 

“Ah seven of each should be enough. One of each type for each individual making two pastries per person.” If his brother thought that the implication that he was buying for multiple people would head off Direina’s bawdy teasing he was going to be sorely mistaken. Sure enough he could see the wicked gleam in her eyes as she calculated her response to provoke maximum blushing. 

“Well aren’t you the ambitious one, courting seven people at once.” He couldn’t help but burst into laughter as the flush on his brother’s face went from deep plum to almost black as he silently stuttered. He heard Honor and her wife join in raucous chorus. Even the aggravated glare that Essek sent him wasn’t enough to stop him from laughing even as the flush faded and the glare softened. Clapping a hand on his brother’s shoulder before addressing the two still laughing women. 

“Okay, enough teasing I’m sure my brother would actually like to get some rest before braving mother’s displeasure.” The grateful glance that he received in return was something that he would look back fondly on for days. Still he watched as Direina pressed the pasteboard box of pastries into Essek’s hands. A small pleased smile gracing his face when he peaked inside to check the pastries, before shifting the box to the crook of his right arm. The flourishing gesture his left hand made left him presenting a single platinum coin to Direina in payment. Mentally sighing he started counting down towards Direina’s inevitable outburst at the perceived condescension. He could step in and head it off but honestly he was curious how his brother was going to handle the situation, because if what he suspected was true that was the only currency his sibling carried on him. 

“I don’t take charity.” _About what I expected_ , Verin thought, also as he expected his brother looked confused at her outrage. He was definitely going to have to step in and clear up the misunderstanding. 

“It’s not charity, Di,” He said using affectionate nickname that Honor used for her wife. “That’s all he carries on him, my guess is that he doesn’t actually do any of his household shopping himself and the only thing he does buy himself are spell components.” There was a slight offended tilt to his brother’s eyebrows before he apparently decided that Verin was right. 

“It’s the truth, I only have platinum on me currently I meant no offense. If it would make you feel better I could give the money to Verin and he can give you the correct cost?” Easing out a weary sigh, _somehow this almost feels like the three of them planned this to force me to take more of my pay_ ; however, Essek continued on not seeming to notice. “I really am very grateful that you accommodated my request on such short notice before you had officially opened for the day.” 

It was almost amusing watching Direina’s hackles smooth down into something accepting and the near wary confirmation glance his brother sent him, watching to see if he disagreed to the offer. Giving him a slight nod and accepting the proffered platinum coin, he dug out the six silver that Direina charged per box of pasteries. They really should cost more but a soldier’s pay alone without a stipend from a Den was not a lot and she wanted to make sure that her culinary creations were accessible to all in this city.

The slightly wide-eyed expression on Essek’s face as he handed over the silver coins was comical. Clearly he had done the math to figure out just how grossly he had attempted to over pay. “Well thank you again for letting us, well me, impose on your hospitality I am very grateful; however, I must be going and I’m sure that my brother would appreciate the opportunity to get some rest.”

_How is it that you can smoothly manipulate the Bright Court and all the petty feuds it holds and be so spectacularly bad at regular conversation?_ He thought even as he opened his mouth to save his floundering sibling, “Indeed, Commander I don’t expect you to report in to your post until midday at the very least considering you were on duty waiting for me to return past your regular shift. Direina, as always your wares are fantastic and thank you for allowing me to steal one of your cobblestone rolls before you officially open the bakery for the day.”

Unspoken was the thanks for indulging him in this little quid pro quo exchange with his brother, though he had a feeling he was going to be getting some gentle ribbing on his brother’s behalf in the coming days. They made their way out of the bakery into a morning that was edging towards grey. _Looks like we’re in for a nasty dust storm today, I’d better send out the warning before I take my trance. Command never sleeps after all._ They traveled towards his home in companionable silence for a time. 

“I’m glad that I decided to actually try to apologize in person, rather than sending a letter with one of your household staff. I would like to continue getting to know you better outside of what we were raised to be. For what it’s worth.” It was half thinking out loud and half telling Essek the thought that had been running through his head since the outburst on the walkway of his brother’s tower. This more emotive and slightly awkward side of his brother brought a quiet smile to his face. 

“Well I’m surprisingly glad you did as well, though the other option would have been a bit impossible since I dismissed all of my staff shortly after returning to the tower.” _You did what? Somehow I don’t think you meant to admit that out loud._ The thought circled in his head as he caught the slight widening of his brother’s eyes as he realized what he had just said and how it had sounded. Either his brother had dismissed the staff for the night as a way to punish him or he had fired the staff for another reason entirely. 

“Dismissed as in dismissed permanently or dismissed as in dismissed for the night?” He had to ask to clear up what could be a misunderstanding entirely though it was a disappointing revelation to cap the night off with. 

“Dismissed for the time being until I can determine which one of them told the Umavi about the guest room. The nature of my position means that my household staff must have absolute discretion and must not speak to anyone about what goes on inside my household not even an Umavi.” There was a defensive growl to his brother’s words and Verin could understand the basic reasoning to some extent. It took him a moment to realize that Essek had stopped walking. _How paranoid do you have to be to believe that your household staff would tell Mother everything?_ The headache that had been threatening to form was becoming a dull roar with a vengeance and Verin had to knead the bridge of his nose a bit to alleviate it while he thought about what to say to his brother. 

“Did it ever occur to you that she didn’t know?” The question slipped out, before he could catch himself. _After all it makes perfect sense to me that she was just trying to set us at odds and was playing heavily on the fact that you are notoriously anti-social._ Looking up he noticed that Essek’s feet had left the ground settling into a steady float, even as his shoulders hunched in on themselves and his fingers twitched around the pasteboard box of pastries all defensive tells.

“Of course she knew. Why else would she have asked me to host you for the night?” The uncomprehending response shot back at light speed drew him up short. It was as if his brother had never stopped believing that their mother knew everything because she was an Umavi. Which now that he thought about it that was exactly what had happened. Verin, himself, hadn’t stopped believing that until he had been stationed in Bazzoxan for a couple of years, out from under her control and mind games. Essek, he realized, hadn’t had that opportunity. She had always kept him close since his consecution but that control and observation had intensified once Essek started climbing the political ranks. It didn’t escape his notice that his brother never referred to their mother as anything other Umavi anymore whether it was to her face or to anyone else. _She never let you doubt her knowledge or her control over your life. How do I explain this to you, without insulting you?_ He thought casting his gaze skyward as if the gradually lightening sky held the answers he sought. 

“To keep us at odds with each other,” _keep it simple and logical_ , “we were too united and ended up thwarting her plans.” Nevermind that it had seemingly been an unintentional alliance on their part certainly it hadn’t been planned. Though that never seemed to matter to his mother whether it was intentional or not just that she didn’t get the outcome she wanted. “So she needed to drive a wedge between us. No offence but you have a well-known reputation for being less than social outside of your duties. I was sure I was going to have to spend my trance on the floor or a stray chair somewhere in your tower. What a better way to keep us at odds than to ensure that we resented each other. You for not being a hospitable host and me for being in your space.”

Watching as the truth dawned on his brother’s face and his feet sank back towards the earthen street toes touching first. He almost didn’t catch it as his brother murmured, “It seems I have some more apologies that I need to make.”

“Indeed, they might not agree to come back but it can’t hurt to apologize and explain why.” It was a cold comfort but it was all that he could offer to him at this moment. He didn’t like the troubled expression that had made itself at home on his brother’s face nor the way he couldn’t seem to meet his eyes. _Let’s get out of the open street, I can try to fix this when we’re in the privacy of my own home_ , Verin thought as he turned away and began to walk slightly faster than before towards the direction of his home. It was an uneasy silence that clung to them by the time he had unlocked the front door of his manse, their footsteps echoing as if walking through an empty tomb. Turning around he saw that the troubled expression had morphed into something between despair and self-loathing and his brother’s shoulders, still hunched in on themselves, were so tightly compressed they were climbing for the points of his ears. He had already shifted the box over to crook of his right arm in preparation of summoning the gem dust infused chalk to teleport himself back to Rosohna. 

_Why does he look like he’s heading to his own execution?_ Suddenly it became clear, as that practiced wrist rotation with the slight finger flick at the end summoned the blue chalk to his brother’s hand with a resigned air, that Essek seemed to believe that just because he was slightly disappointed in his brother’s actions that he no longer wished to get to know him better. Which was absurd, he had been tripped up by one of mother’s power plays and had reacted accordingly. After all given the nature of his position he was right that his household staff talking to anyone about what they saw within the house could be detrimental to the Dynasty’s security. Though a better question would be why he thought that Verin wouldn’t want to continue building the fragile bridge that had been started tonight just because of a little disappointment. 

_He's never been allowed to fail._ The thought came to him as he watched the minute tremble in his brother’s hands. _Once it became known that he was a prodigy any failure or mistake was met with harsh criticism. If he didn’t get it right the first time people would question whether he deserved the title of prodigy._ If he looked at their interactions tonight through that lens a lot of the stiltedness of his brother’s interactions made sense. It appeared that Essek had somehow convinced himself that if he didn’t do everything perfectly then whatever he was working towards would be taken away. Well that at least he could remedy. 

Reaching out to gently catch his brother’s wrist before he started chalking out the circle he said, “I still mean what I said earlier you know, about wanting to know you better. That fact hasn’t changed because you fell prey to mother’s attempt to unsettle you. If you ever want to talk or feel like you need an outside observation or opinion I’m here. I’m sure you can find a way to contact me or otherwise drop in for a visit.”

He would probably end up regretting the blanket offer for Essek to drop in on him unannounced; however, it was clear that his brother needed an outside opinion or observation desperately and with him being apparently at odds with the group of mercenaries he called friends then Verin was happy to provide it. Smiling softly as Essek’s gaze falteringly lifted to meet his and searched his face for signs of falsehood. He thought it was somewhat sad that was all it took to bring a relieved expression to his brother’s face. Still the relaxing of Essek’s shoulders, he shuddered to think about how nasty and tight the muscle knots between his brother’s shoulder blades must be, was a triumph and so was the fact that his brother set down the pastry box and chalk. He would offer a hug or even just a hand on his shoulder except that in his experience his brother was brother was iffy with touch at the best of times. _I wonder just how much that pocket dimension of his holds_ , he thought as he watched his sibling make that fluid rotation of his hand to pull something that looked like a flat dark river rock out of the pocket.

“Here now you can always get in contact with me, if you want to talk. I keep the master stone on me at all times so barring any times that I’m in a position where I cannot answer the Sending I’ll answer.” _A sending stone, you’re giving me a magical item meant for your agents just to give me a way to stay in contact with you._ He couldn’t help but feel touched, that was more than he had ever expected. Verin almost responded thanking him when he continued on, “Also feel free to use it if you ever need assistance, as long as I’m physically able I’ll come.” 

_You’re offering me aid, you’re offering my people aid. You have no idea how much that means to me. You’ve just possibly saved some of my people with this gift._ He didn’t say any of that out loud though, instead he reached out and clasped the hand with the proffered stone and said, “Oh believe me I’ll use it, and thanks for listening. I’m glad that we’re making the effort to break free of the way we were raised.” 

Watching Essek struggle for words before finally settling on nodding in agreement instead caused his smile to widen as he pulled his hand back taking the Sending stone with it. The tangible weight in his palm of the stone felt more real than any verbal promise of aid or support that he had been given from Rosohna in the past two decades. Meeting his sibling’s eyes he hoped that his gratitude was visible on his face because he wasn’t sure that he could find the appropriate words at that very moment. 

“If I’m going to get any amount of rest before she summons us for breakfast I should probably leave now.” He could hear the regret tinging Essek’s words as if he didn’t want to leave as he reached for the box and the spell chalk. Once again he was absorbed by watching the precise process his brother went about chalking a wildly different circle than the more familiar one that they had used to get here. The gem infused lines almost glowed against the onyx of his floor tile until the final line was completed and the circle blazed with arcane. Before his brother could step into that glowing circle and vanish from sight back to Rosohna Verin called out, “Luxon smile upon you. Now get some rest. Light knows we’ve earned it.” 

Casting a smile over his shoulder as he stepped into the circle his brother, turned and said, “and upon you. I’m certainly going to need it.”

The circle flared and vanished taking Essek with it, leaving his foyer empty with the only trace that he had ever been here in his home the Sending stone resting solidly in his palm and the faint outline of the teleportation circle not quite burned into the floor. Looking down at the stone clutched in his hand a warm feeling of contentment ran through him as he thought, _well command never sleeps and I have much to do before I can rest, I’ll see if I can get a bezel and chain to put this on when I finish my trance. What was it that Essek murmured earlier tonight on the walkway, leave things better than you found them? I would say that in the terms of our relationship we definitely have tonight._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't know when I will get around to posting the last story in this series where Verin meets the Mighty Nein, it will probably be after I post the next chapter of Through Seas of Stars honestly.

**Author's Note:**

> Also as an older sibling who's younger sister is taller than them and is also the shortest member of my immediate family I too would levitate constantly to make myself taller if I could. As it is I wear the tallest heels I own whenever I am around my family, which doesn't work because my mother is six foot and wears the same shoe size as me so she borrows my heels to make herself taller. Also let me know if you would like to see this night from Essek's point of view.


End file.
